We are always on the lookout for healthy relationships – the kind which makes us look forward to being with our partner, have a healthy life together, and most importantly, create a space for growth – individually and together. However, that is not the case in a lot of relationships. After the initial phase of firecrackers getting over, people get to face the other person with all their vulnerabilities, traumas and unresolved issues that they have been carrying. That is when the relationship starts to need a lot of efforts to make it work. From being understanding to communicating about our feelings to each other and most importantly, letting the other person know of the expectations we have from the relationship – it becomes a two-way journey of efforts and understanding.
However, there are a lot of things that we do wrong in relationships that add up to create conflicts and arguments later. Often these conflicts spiral into bigger ones, which ultimately lead to separations. With little efforts and appreciation of each other, we can avoid reaching the drastic end of the relationship. Therapist and author of the book Set Boundaries, Find Peace, Nedra Glover Tawwab addressed the issue and noted down four things that we should avoid from doing if we are looking for a healthy relationship, in her recent Instagram post. Read her tips here:
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Defensive: Arguments are common in relationships. Contrary to what we believe, conflicts actually open up new perspectives for us if we are willing to absorb it in a healthy way. It is important to not be defensive when the partner addresses the issues that he/she may have been facing in the relationship. They are just speaking their mind out and letting us know the changes that they would like to see in the relationship.
Connect: Communication is the key – this age-old insight about healthy relationships never gets old. Often, we being our egos forward and refrain from contacting the other person, even though we are looking forward to speak to them. It is important to connect, speak the heart out and let the other person know how we feel. Take the first step forward.
Talking negatively: In relationships, often we face situations when we are too angry and frustrated with our partners. The first thing we do is pick up our phones or meet up someone we feel trust and speak about it. However, this can have negative impact on the relationship. The issues first need to be addressed with the partner.
Appreciate: Healthy relationships are also built on love and little things – from sharing a smile, a blush to complimenting each other. If we are in awe of our partner, we should not hold ourselves back. We should fill them up with appreciations and compliments.